Why Spam?

I have inflicted many of my stories on my friends and relatives via e-mail. Mass, unsolicited e-mail is referred to as spam. I don’t know why. I’m sure that it has no reference to the meat product that the Marine Corps used to feed me occasionally. Mostly, my kind and indulgent friends ignore my spam but occasionally, they respond with a comment along the lines of, “You should write a book.” Well, I reasoned, if Bill Bryson can write a whole slew of books along the lines of A Walk in the Woods, then surely someone will appreciate my prattling on about my experiences. After all, the only passage I recall from A Walk in the Woods that I thought was actually funny was the description of his friend casting aside canned hams from his backpack a mile or so into the Adirondack trail. I should note that I don’t know Bill Bryson. I have never even met him. I’m pretty sure that he will want to keep it that way.

Other than that, I have noted that I have a whole bookshelf filled with guidebooks: travel guides, climbing guides, hiking guides, paddling guides, and etc. There is a recipe to them all. Each pertains to a specific sport and vicinity: for instance, hiking and Idaho, or climbing and Smith Rock, or kissing and the Northwest. Frankly, I am bored with this recipe and I want to do something different. I don’t know why. Maybe it is because Mark Twain’s travelogues are boring. He did something different and wrote Huckleberry Finn and found success. Great, now someone will accuse me of maligning Mark Twain.

Mostly I hope that some description, or idea, or story that I have put down on these pages will inspire some wonderful adventures for others. Also, I hope that none of the people I have mentioned (Would it help if I just claimed that I made up all the names?) will take offence at my recounting of our experiences. I will go only so far as to allow that they may have a different recollection than I do. I hope they are having good times wherever they are. This especially pertains to my ex-wife who was party to several of the adventures I’ve shared here. I admit that I am not always so kind to her memory; however, what man ever places his ex-wife on a pedestal? I also hope that my ex-wife’s successor will not take offence at my telling of my adventures with my ex-wife. If I have learned nothing else, I have learned that wives can be sensitive. Ok, that is as deep as I wish to dig this hole I am standing in right now.

Cheers,Greg